The Coaching Relationship

Rowden February 2021

• Most humans always seem to think that someone must be in charge. This is woven into the very fabric of society and every organisation and institution.

• Because we consider this 'chain of command' as normal and part of everyday existence, we tend to look at relationships as involving power. In fact the exercise of power and control does not promote true relationships, it destroys them.
• Authority is often the excuse of the strong to control and manipulate others for their own needs.
• We often hear people talking about their 'rights'. This can be the route we take to avoid working out relationships.
• There is no need for such hierarchy, if you regard the needs and concerns of others as being equally if not at times more important, than your own.
• Bearing in mind essentially that all players are different, have differing strengths and attributes and therefore need to develop and evolve in their own individual ways, the exercise of power and control in a coaching relationship is almost always counter-productive.
• If the player spends most of his/her time and energy, working to someone else’s program and ideas of how he/she should perform, the achievement of real success becomes extremely improbable.
• The exercise of power and control is not needed if both player and coach always desire to do their best for each other.
• Mutual respect is required, not domination, a sharing of the sport together. The binding duty and responsibility of the coach should be seen as identifying and guiding the player towards his/her own greatest, individual strengths and qualities and never as forcing them down a route which is both alien and uncomfortable.
• Are you, the coach limiting your player’s development and the attainment of his/her ultimate potential, by your own arrogance and rigidity?

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